Here's to the new year!

Merry, Merry holidays to anybody that just happens to be reading this!

My husband and I had a wonderful Christmas with our family this year. I hope you did too!

Have you ever heard the phrase, "God, please let me be the person my dog things I am?" I haven't done much since the Ironman... But if I could be anybody at all... I'd say, "God, please let me be the athlete that my coworkers think I am." Ha! I haven't done much working out since Ironman the first of November, but boy do some of my coworkers love to have fun making up workouts that I supposedly do in my free time these days... "She probably goes home everyday and runs 9 miles on the treadmill since it's snowing out. Then she probably runs 3 more miles backwards. Yeah, and then...." Boy, do I wish I was the person they think I am... ha!

Thing is... I'm not going to be that person that they think I am... I'm instead going to be "THAT" person. Y'know... The ones that you've never seen at the gym, and then suddenly on Jan. 1 you can't get a treadmill because "those" people are hogging up the machines. Yep. that's going to be me this year. I've done a few workouts here and there recently, but not much. I've eaten a whole lot of cookies, and gotten a whole lotta extra sleep though! I'm going to get back on the horse at the new year. I normally detest THAT person. But this year... I own it. I'm going to be one of the reasons the treadmills are busy when you go in on Jan. 1.

Thanks to Chris because he now has me all signed up for my first race of 2008. The Colfax half-marathon! Can't wait Chris!!!!! Chris and I are pretty even paced, too. Could be interesting!!!

Happy New Year everybody!!! May your 2008 be happy and healthy!!!!

I send sincere love to all my friends and family. I am a very blessed person.

Turtle Updates

First update) I'm still living. I'm still glowing with the new found pride of all that I know I have the ability to do--which is now anything!!!! I'm an Ironman!!!! And it's the best feeling ever!!!!

Second update) My coach told me not to think about running for a month after Ironman. I didn't. Oh happy day. He told me swimming and biking would be fine... But I didn't think about those either...

My race was on Nov. 3. On November 30, it hit me. Up until that time, I'd think "I should probably work out tomorrow." And then tomorrow, I'd think the exact same thought. On Nov. 30, I really, really, really felt like running. So I got up the courage to go to the rec center and I went for a run!!! Whoo-hoo! And the next morning? I felt like running again!!!! Can you believe that? And I enjoyed it. Tonight, my body is all but screaming "Put that bike on the trainer!!! PLEASE!!!!" So that's what I'm going to do. I'm glad I gave my body the break. It's now ready to get back on the horse.

Third Update) I'm definitely struggling with some issues. I LOVE the shape I'm in right now. I'm also loving that I don't have to fit 2 workouts in a day. I don't have to fit in any workouts if I don't want to. But I need to stay in shape. ESPECIALLY during the holidays!

I need a goal. I'm just that kind of person. I need the fear and drive for my motivation. No goal = no motivation. So.... Triple Bypass next summer. Done it before, but I want to do better. It's a stellar goal. OF COURSE I want to do another Ironman. My husband and I have had many, many discussions on the merits of this race vs. that race. We also now know the cost of an Ironman (both physically and financially--Ouch! Not a bad thing to save a little cash before the next one!) I'd also love to do a marathon without the prerequisite 2.4/112 warm up!

Here's my dilemma: I'm a 35 year old woman that has been wanting to get pregnant for almost 3 years. Okay, so the last year was worth throwing my body into mass chaos just to take my mind off of things. And really, it didn't actually throw my body into any sort of chaos. I just got a little more fit in the process. It was fantastic and I don't regret it for a second. I keep thinking that Susan Williams had baby Sydney while she was training for the Sydney Olympics. Doctors really don't know why some people get pregnant just thinking about sex, and others... Well... Who knows why they can't get pregnant? (If you don't know me, I have plenty of body fat--that's not the issue.)

That said, can I really put my heart into the Triple, a marathon, or another Ironman if I really want to get pregnant?

This blog was meant to be very tri specific. I'm comfortable posting to the world about training and racing. I'm not as comfortable using it as an online personal diary. I still have every intention of doing my ol' favorites in the Boulder 5430 series this summer... But I just can't decide what else to put on my calendar right now.

If you don't hear from me for awhile, don't worry. I'm in a good place. I think I just have to sit back and let life dictate to me how things need to go. That's a little hard when I've spent the last year of my life dictating to my body THIS is what you're going to do. At the very minimum, I'll be back soon as the Spring race season takes off again. Because our year of ultimate endurance has peaked, my husband swears that this next year is the year of speed. Watch out friends and family! Greg is on a mission! The rumor at our house is that a certain Mr. Leidel will be left in the dust at next years Bolder Boulder!!!!

Good Times!

I guess it's time to cut my bracelet off. It's only been a week, but that smile continues on...

The Recap

It's a long race report, and I feel like it's still missing details that stand out in my mind (like the guy in the aero helmet, disc wheel, looking like he was really something... Only I was passing him at mile 95... Dude, if I'M passing you, you're not a stud! While I was overtaking him, I thought his water bottle was leaking... I was wrong.)

I really feel blessed that we had such good weather. It was 77 degrees. Calm waters. And only a very slight headwind on the second half of the bike course. How did I get so lucky? I know that I had friends that said they were praying for us. That's cool.

We took an entourage of friends of family with us--and I so appreciate them! We had other friends that couldn't go, but called the friends that were there and were able to get live updates. I never thought doing an Ironman would make me feel so loved!

I also had no idea that finishing the Ironman would give me the great sense of accomplishment that it has. I've heard people say that the training is the hardest part of doing an Ironman. It's funny, because you build so much through your training, you don't always see it when you're in it. I started with 2.5 hour bike rides. Then I went up to 5 hours. I knew it was going up to 7 hours. I didn't get down on it, because I always knew it was gonna get harder, so I tried to appreciate the easier stuff while I had it. Even my hardest workouts didn't seem that hard because I knew race day would be even harder. It wasn't always convenient, and I frequently had to move things around, skip time with friends, but I did every key workout. It paid out. I had no problems on the swim. I was getting tired on the bike, but I knew I could do it. The run? My legs had learned autopilot when they hurt... And it came in handy. I had my nutrition down... Do the training. Believe in your training. It WILL get you there.

I'm so thankful that I had did a couple half Ironman's in my training. I made mistakes in those races that I did NOT make in the big one. :)

I'm so happy I had a husband that understood and supported me. Our house and yard went downhill big time during all this. Weekends were devoted to training, and then we were too tired to do stuff around the house. It was so nice that we both understood that. Doing an Ironman made my marriage stronger.

Don't make big plans the days prior to your race. I thought I was all packed and ready when I flew out of Denver, but there was still so much to do at the race site beforehand.

Get to the merchandise tent a half hour before it is slated to open the morning after the race. We did and it paid off. They opened early and we had first pick of the newly put out finisher merchandise. When we left the store, there was a 45 minute wait to get in the store, and by then it was already picked over.

Stay positive during the race. Push every negative thought as far away as possible. Easier said than done, I know. But it makes ALL the difference in the world.

It was amazing. If you've ever thought about doing an Ironman, do it. With training, it IS possible. I'm living proof.

Pre-Race and the Swim

IM Able had warned me not to make plans the day before the race because the day would fly by. My coach urged me not to make plans the two days before the race. Both gave great advice. I don’t know where the time went, but it seemed like I spent a great deal of wasted time down at Ironman Village the two days prior. Every visit (registration, bike and bag drop off, athlete dinner and meeting, random visits to the expo) was a minimum three hour visit, and I think we were there twice each day. We spent an hour just standing in line waiting to register to pick up our bags. It was worth it once we got in the tent to get all our swag. Every visit to Ironman village also fueled the butterflies in my stomach. The people walking around were amazingly fit. The inner demons continued to war that I did not belong there.

We rented a house just outside of town. We thought it was three miles from town. It was actually six, which might have been a little farther than I would have liked, but I wouldn't trade it. My husband said he thinks he would have preferred to stay at the race venue. I completely disagree. Everytime we went there, it keyed up my nerves too much. I was able to settle down a bit everytime we went back to the house. It was also loud with so much going on at the host hotel. I guess everybody is different.

I was up late packing all the transition bags two nights prior to the race because those get turned in the day before the race. I did okay on the sleep that night, but not as good as I had hoped. I was amazed the night prior to the race to find my husband in bed at 8 p.m. He always keeps me up far later than I want the night prior to a race. Even if he wasn’t saying much, this was a telltale sign that he was definitely nervous. Surprisingly, I slept good that night.

4:15 a.m. Rise and shine. I dressed quickly and headed up for breakfast. I always play with my food this early, I'm just not hungry yet, so I knew to give myself some time to force it down. Malt-O-Meal, half a bagel with peanut butter, half a banana, and some Green Machine juice. I’d practiced with this breakfast many times, and it hadn’t failed me yet.

We get to the race site. Tons of nervous energy everywhere. I was not alone. I restocked some of my transition bags because I came across some new issues that morning. I just kept reminding myself that when I ran my packing list by my coach, he reminded me to also pack a sense of flexibility, because something was sure to go wrong. I stayed positive.

I stood in line to have my bike tires pumped up one last time. Stood in line for the bathroom. It was now time to head to the beach. All of the athletes were being herded and we couldn’t see where they were herding us to. I just followed the slow moving mass of athletes. Finally I entered the small fenced channel that lead to the area for the athletes.

My husband and I kissed. I looked over at my friend Amy, and whether she realizes it or not, she looked like she wanted to cry. I have a very strong memory of Eminem’s song “Lose Yourself” blaring over the loud speaker. I think that was the beginning of a great day mentally for me.

You better lose yourself in the music,

the moment You own it, you better never let it go

You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow

This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo

I looked up the lyrics just to make sure I was quoting them correctly because naturally I was singing them the way that worked best for me in my head, and I just noticed the last verse of the song…

You can do anything you set your mind to, man

That's cool. I found myself humming it again on my bike later in the day when I needed a boost.

The canon blew. I started on the far left closest to the buoys, about 2/3 the way back. I realized that I didn’t get in the water to warm up prior to the start, so I was worried that the water would be cold, but there was so much emotion at that moment, the water temp didn’t phase me. It was the same as every other triathlon I did this year. People were elbowing and kicking. Deal with it. When I made it to the first turn buoy, the helicopter was directly overhead and people were yelling “Don’t even think about cutting the inside of that buoy.” I came up to doggie paddle for a second, and there were a minimum of 30 heads bobbing that were also doggie paddling. Then it became a tread water session because there was no room to use my arms. We all moved as one head bobbing mass around the buoy. I remember somebody yelling, “Don’t worry, the first turn is the worst.” He was right. The second one was bad, but it was on par with other triathlons I’ve done. The difference with this triathlon was that usually I lose the pack about half way through the loop. This was an Ironman with 2200 people. I continued to get kicked and punched the entire 1.2 miles, all the way into land.

I looked at my watch. I did 41 minutes. I did 44 and 45 at my HIM’s this summer. Nice job me! I ran back in the water, and I couldn’t believe that I was on my second loop. The first loop flew by. I think all the jockeying for position took my mind off everything else. The second loop dragged a little more, and I was still running into people off and on. I just tried to enjoy it. I was doing an Ironman! The water was perfect. I only saw two jellyfish. There were no big waves throwing me around or making me seasick like I feared. I had felt my skin tingle a couple times. Could that have been a jellyfish sting? It didn’t hurt enough. It could just be the residual from a good kick or punch. Who knows? I never felt overly tired on the swim. My training had set me up well. I got out of the water with a giant smile on my face. When I did my HIM last summer, I couldn’t imagine doing a second 1.2 mile loop. I just did two loops in 1:29. I slapped hands with fans on the course and had so much energy I ran all the way to the changing tent. I was actually surprised that I was one of a very few that was running. Most everybody was walking.

Transition 1:
Wow. There were a lot of women in there. Where to go? I finally found a spot right in the middle of the room, and everything was wet and sandy, so pulling out the stuff in my bag was tricky. I was trying to hurry. “Lori!” It was my friend Amy. She was in there, already dressed and leaving. She had beaten me in the swim! I was sad because her swim times weren’t as strong as mine this past summer, but I quickly pushed it out of my head. Be happy for her. We both did awesome! This race was for me anyways. I just had to finish. It wasn’t about beating anyone. It was about beating the clock. Go Amy!

The Bike

I was told that my tongue would swell from the salt water and not to let it freak me out. As it turned out, my tongue didn't feel swollen, but it did feel like it was covered in hair for the first hour and a half. It was just a weird feeling.

I really wanted to maintain at least 15 mph, so I kept it right there. Everybody and their grandmother was passing me. Deal with it. I stopped to go to the bathroom at the 1:30 mark. I had to wait in line for three people. I didn’t like that, but I tried to appreciate the butt time off the seat. I saw lots of people with flat tires. One poor guy had a tv camera about two inches from his nose while he changed his tire. I felt bad for him. Who the heck wants a camera in your face at a time like that?

The special needs stop was kind of fun. It was like a drive up service. They had boxes with sets of 50 numbers per box set up along the road for about a quarter of a mile. My box was near the end. I rode up to it and a volunteer handed me my bag. There were two other girls next to me. One was eating a PB & J. Ooh! That sounds good! She offered me a bite (aren’t triathletes the best?!) I declined because I had my own. It was good, too! (I ran into her again later, she asked “Are you the PB & J girl?” I had fun talking to lots of people on the bike.)

I remembered that my coach had told me to start out at the pace I thought I would be riding at the 90 mile mark. I had originally forgotten that, but luckily I didn’t go out hard anyways. I remembered this, because suddenly I started to pass people. From halfway on, I passed people, and some passed me. My coach was absolutely right when he said people would go out too hard and blow up later on.

My butt started to hurt around hour 3. I just told myself, “Don’t be surprised! You even blogged about how you know your butt always hurts between hours 3 & 4 and then it gets a little better.” I did start to get really tired though. This course is flat, which is nice, but there is no recourse. You never get to coast. You just have to pedal, pedal, pedal. Argh. I wanted to savor every moment on the bike, but I was definitely getting tired. I swear the mileage between miles 90 and 100 were wrong. It sure did seem like 20 miles instead of 10. When we turned to head into to town, I got a spring in my step again. I only had a handful of miles left, and I had just crossed the 7 hour mark. I was going to come in around 7.5 hours. I got teary at that moment (that was the only moment the entire race). I thought for sure I would do 8 or 8.5 hours. I bettered what I thought I could do. I was going to have 8 hours for the run. I WAS GOING TO DO THIS!!!!! Barring any stomach issues, I was going to finish! I was so happy.

It hurt to walk when I got off the bike. Our parents had signed up to bodymark, and they were STILL in the transition area. No wonder they weren’t out on the bike course cheering us on (but we had other friends that were. They were awesome! Thanks Matt, Dani, and Julie!) I couldn’t believe our parents were still there in the transition area. My father in-law handed me my bag. I could tell he was really proud of me. My mom cheered. I could hardly walk I was so stiff. I went in, changed my clothes (with the help of an awesome volunteer), and suddenly my legs felt fresh again.

I started running.

The Run

My coach wanted me to walk the first five minutes, but he also told me that if I couldn’t resist running in front of the crowds, to walk as soon as I turned the corner. (It paid to have a coach that knew this course and had experience with it.) My legs felt surprisingly good.

I'll never forget passing several people in the first couple miles of that run. Granted, they were surely on their second lap, and I was only on my first... But I NEVER pass people on the run. Never! I remember commenting to myself, "I LOVE Ironman!" I finally found a race where people run at MY pace. Best thing ever!!!!

My coach had me practicing a 9 minute run/1 minute walk the last month and a half. I did practice that. I did! But all along, I knew in my head that I wanted to do a 5 minute run/ 1 minute walk when it came to the real thing. (I never told him that until after the race though!) Anyway you cut it, I always seemed to do 12 minute miles. Straight, 9/1, or 5/1. Might as well stick with the 5/1!!!! When I bonked hard at the Harvest Moon half Ironman, I managed to get my feet to do the 5/1 pace and it put me back at a 12 minute mile, and perfectly paced to walk the aid stations. Here I was, doing an Ironman, a full Ironman, and it was once again working perfectly. I was consistently pulling into an aid station every other walk break, and doing 12 minute miles. It was great.

I wasn’t the least bit hungry, but once again I remembered the nice bonk I had at Harvest Moon. At that race, I didn’t feel like anything would stay down, but I forced a power gel into me, and it really helped. Thusly, at mile 3, while I didn’t want anything this time either, I again forced a power gel down. I never ever had stomach problems the entire race. I feel really blessed. I had quit eating any solid foods with 1 ½ hours to go on the bike. I had learned at the 5430 tri that Coca-Cola worked well. It was an Ironman, so I HAD to try the chicken broth (it was okay, not great.) I steadied out the entire race by alternating those three basic things and never had problems.

I look back at this entire race and compare it to the college exam you studied so hard for, and fear that your gonna fail, but then you get in there, and you know all the questions. I did not face anything in this triathlon that I didn’t face in my training and shorter races.

I was happy because I made it to St. Andrews State Park before it was dark. I really wanted to see what I would be running through the rest of the night. It was getting dusk. I made a point to use the porta potty one last time before it got too dark to see anything. (Those things were nasty! There was no way I was going in there once it was dark out!)

I saw my friends Matt, Dani, and Julie! They cheered and told me that I went from being 40 minutes behind Amy to now being 15 minutes behind Amy. I had seen her at the turn around. She looked tired.

I saw my husband. We kissed. He always talks about having feelings of attachment. I had so many feelings of attachment at that moment. I love him with all my heart, and from the smile on his face, I feel like he definitely reciprocated. I was so happy.

Before I knew it, I was nearing the 13.1 turnaround. Now I had heard stories of how this can be a big blow to the ego and completely disheartening. You’re heading out on the second loop while others are finishing. For whatever reason, it didn’t bother me. Who cares? I’m going to finish too! There were so many people there cheering. It definitely made the mile in and the mile out go by fast. I stopped and looked in my special needs bag, but there was nothing in there that I wanted. I just threw it aside and kept going.

I just pulled out my half marathon in 2:45. I did 3:09 and 3:04 at my HIM’s this summer. I couldn’t believe it. I just did twice as much swimming and biking this time! Wha? My goal had always been to run the first half and walk the rest if I needed, but my legs were on auto pilot. My legs were no stranger to the aches they were currently feeling. They had felt this way many times in my training. I figured I’d just keep going until I couldn’t go anymore. I was bound to hit “the wall” at some point.

I was now about mile 16? I saw Amy up ahead. Her boyfriend was walking with her. I wasn’t really making any ground on her, nor did I want to. Once I passed her, would I lose some of my steam? Unconsciously, I think she was a rabbit that I was chasing. What would I do once I passed her? DARN! Ben just turned around and saw me. As soon as he saw me, he took off. I walked with her. She was fussing about something with her mile splits and I wasn’t really sure what she was talking about. After some small talk, I finally just snapped at her. “If you’re going to be negative, I can’t hang with you! You need to cut it out! We’re on an Ironman course and we’re going to do this!!! Who cares what time your mile splits are! We just have to finish in 17 hours and even if we walk the rest of this, we're going to do that! 17 hours! That’s ALL that matters!!!! We’re going to be Ironmen today!!!” She didn’t complain again.

I felt bad because she did have a nice walk pace going. I couldn’t walk that fast, my legs hurt. I asked her to slow down. I was anxious to start running again. I finally told her that I had been doing a 5/1 plan, and it was working really well for me. She said she’d try it. We did 2-3 miles of that, but Amy started struggling. Soon we were doing 2-3 minutes, and then walking. And then more walking. She encouraged me to go on without her. I was so torn. If I stayed with her, I would be a really great friend that she would give credit to forever. Of course, if I stayed with her, I might also hold a grudge against her forever, too. What to do?

(She also admitted that she hadn’t eaten anything at all on the run course. I forced her to eat some gel and later some chicken broth.)

At about mile 20, I told her that it hurt more for me to walk than it did to run. (Which it did. My legs hurt no matter what I was doing, but in my heart I wanted to believe that my legs hurt worse when I was walking.) I decided to go on without her. I had told Amy that I was sure she'd catch me when I hit “the wall.” She encouraged me and told me that if I hadn’t hit it yet, I wasn’t going to hit it.

(Amy walked until the last mile. She managed to sprint the last mile and finished at 15:20. I'm so glad I didn't stay with her. There's no way I could have busted out a sprint at the end. Congrats Amy!)

For some reason, I had in my mind that I could probably run the next six miles without taking any walk breaks. I just wanted to finish. That was kind of stupid. I was hurting. I had to remind myself that 5/1 worked really good, I shouldn’t feel guilty for continuing my walk breaks. I was only feeling guilty because I left Amy behind.

I came up on the spot where my friends had been previously. I was sad. I assumed they went to the finish line to see Greg. That’s okay. I’m happy that they were there to cheer for him. Then lo and behold, they jumped out and screamed and yelled for me! They told me Greg had finished in 13 hours 4 minutes. I was SO happy for him!!!!

I knew the neighborhoods I was about to go in would be lonely. I continued to talk and cheer on every athlete I saw.

I knew that with a mile and a half to go, there were lots of people along the course. They would pull me in. When I got there, I was kind of sad, because most of the people had left. It was lonely afterall, but I could hear Mike Reilly in the distance. I thought he said something about one minute until the 16th hour. I had been so excited because I thought I might pull out a 15:30 overall time. That didn’t matter. I was still going to be an Ironman. I gave what I could, which wasn’t much. I remembered my friend Kirk (IMWI 06) telling me that the last half mile doesn’t hurt. When I came in to the home stretch there were 1/3 of the people that had been there when I came through at the turnaround earlier in the evening. But I didn’t care. Some of the athletes leaving with their bikes cheered me in. I was smiling SO big!!!!

The finisher chute DID have a ton of people. Lots of people had their hands out to high five. I high fived everyone I saw. I never heard Mike Reilly call my name, but saw my family. I DID IT!!!! I JUST DID THE IRONMAN!!! AND OH MY GOODNESS! THE CLOCK SAYS 15:09!!!!! Mike Reilly hadn’t said the 16th hour earlier, he had said the 15th hour! OH MY GOSH!!!! I DID IT!!! I not only did it, I did it in 15:09!!!! I seriously thought that if I could do it, I was going to do it in 16:59. I couldn’t believe it!!!!!!

The catcher guy wouldn’t let go of me when I told him I was fine, but laughed because I almost started jumping up and down each time they’d hand me something new: the t-shirt, then the medal, then the hat. They were laughing so much at me. I was so happy.

The rest is kind of a blur. My legs really started to cramp up and hurt badly. I got a massage. Oooh, that was nice. It helped. But my legs continued to cramp through the night. Because our parents had volunteered in the transition area, they had already grabbed our bags and taken care of our bikes for us. (That was nice!)

I’m now home, and I’m still walking on clouds. I’m sad it’s over. I’m amazed I did it. The marathon!!! What on earth happened on the marathon out there!!!

I think the weather was PERFECT and that helped. Most importantly, I had my eye on the prize, and I never let the mental game get the best of me. I stayed on top of it the entire race. If I ever do one again, I may not have the same drive to finish that I did this time. That scares me… Because I want to experience that amount of happiness, success, and fulfillment over and over again. It was the most amazing experience ever. Will it have the same magic if I ever do it again?????

So many emotions to deal with now—but the private smile I harbor doesn’t fade. I did it. I am an Ironman!

The emotions continue

Okay, full race report tomorrow night... I promise!!!!

I'm still trying to gather my thoughts. We have luggage and gear everywhere, so I need to focus on cleaning up all the stuff that got thrown around the house last night. And... I'm still really tired and ready to go to sleep.

But quickly for today... Being a school teacher and doing something like this is a great combination. I had lots of support the last week at work. (Nobody at my husband's work really cared, but he said it was okay because he had friends and family that made it a big deal for him.) My team all clapped and cheered when I walked in this morning. Someone decorated my classroom door and made me cry right there. I remember having 3 or 4 miles left on the run course, and just smiling like my cheeks were gonna break, and some guy told yelled at me, "Congratulations! The only thing you have left to do is cross that finish line and cry like a little girl." I laughed and told him I wasn't sure how he knew me so well. Funny thing is that I didn't cry when I crossed the finish line, I was so excited it never crossed my mind. I think I'm making up for it today. I cried when I saw my classroom door. I relished every hand shake I received today.

Tonight, I watched the one hour IM coverage we taped last year of the IMFL 06 race. Every time we watched it last year (and that was many times) we just sat in awe wondering if we could do it. Tonight I watched it analyzing what part of the course they were filming at and what it was like when I was there. I did cry when they showed the average joe age groupers coming in. I remember watching them before and idolizing them... Now I'm one of them... And it's the best feeling in the world.

I'm still in shock and disbelief. I did it. (Pinch myself.) Today I came across a couple of old sticky notes on some school folders that were buried. The sticky notes had old swim and bike workouts obviously meant for me to promptly leave school and accomplish that particular day. Today I had no workouts to rush off to. An overwhelming feeling of sadness came over me. It's over. I came home, made dinner, watched the 06' IMFL, and realized that normally I'd be heading to the pool soon. More tears...

My wedding day was the very best day of my life. If I had to define the emotion of that day, it would definitely be "HAPPY". Ironman has to be the second best day. While I cherish my wedding day, doing an Ironman has something totally different that will forever be marked in my life. I've always struggled with low self-esteem, and I don't want to come off like now I have an ego, but I really surprised myself out there. I still don't know how I pulled off that marathon, but I did it!!!! I guess deep down, I know that I set a goal that was completely out of the realm of possibility. I could have accepted it if I didn't make it. It was an outrageous goal. I still think I set the standards out of my league when I signed up last year... But I worked for it... And I did it. For once, I believe I'm somebody special.

I don't know how many times the last three days I've just sat quietly with a smile on my face. I hope I can retain these moments forever and ever, especially when I start to get down on myself. (The mega-overpriced finisher's photo and finisher jacket are worth every penny when you put it in those terms.)

Today, the emotions continue to be an open floodgate.

I promise a full race report tomorrow night, along with observations for those that aspire to do an Ironman someday. I'm also trying to talk my husband into writing a race report that I can post in addition to mine. Having this experience was amazing. Sharing this experience with him was even more amazing.

I AM AN IRONMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!

15:09!

I'm finally home and pinching myself to make sure that I didn't just dream the past week.


Do I ever want to do an Ironman again????? No. But not for the reasons you might think. I had such an amazing experience, I just know that the second time around couldn't come anywhere close to having the magic that this one did, and that scares me... because I think Wisconsin would be pretty darn cool. We had so many family and friends supporting us both in person and afar. (I just don't think I could get that kind of support again!) The weather couldn't have been more perfect! 77 degrees and sunny, only a slight breeze the second half of the bike. I did the marathon. How on earth did my feet do that? I'm still in disbelief! It was such an amazing day.


I don't want to go into all the specifics right now. I've been exhausted physically and emotionally ever since I crossed that finish line. Once I got out of the water I just knew I was going to finish. All day long I told everyone I saw, "Today is the day I'm going to be an Ironman!" Some cheered me, some ignored me. I think my cheeks hurt from smiling nearly as much as my legs hurt, okay, maybe not that much. But I never had a moment in the race where I doubted whether I would make it. I was trained for everything I faced. It was the most amazing day and experience. Full race report forthcoming.

Time to leave

I don't know whether the emotional roller coaster has come to a stand still--the last few days have been rush, rush, rush to get everything done, no time to think... Or if this ride is putting me in a hold pattern for a short time so I can really get a sense of the crazy free fall AAAAaaaggghhh! that I'm about to experience.

Either way, it has been nuts the last few days as we gather together every sticky note and every list that is laying around the house. I had to stay quite late at work the last two nights to finish writing all my sub plans. And well, now I'm just naming off stuff that isn't all that fun.

Here's what is! I teach middle school. In the middle school, teachers and kids are frequently teamed together. One of the times that my team meets every day is the first 15 minutes of the day. Today I walked in a minute or two late because I was rushing around on my last day, I walk in to the class... "Surprise!!!! Good luck!" My teammates had made a banner, 2 cakes (they laughed because they knew I wouldn't eat it, but the kids enjoyed it), and all the kids had previously made Good luck cards for me (with some of the cutest drawings of bicycles! I even saw some M-dots and attempts M-dot logos!) I'll tell you what, the butterflies haven't fluttered anywhere as close to the way they did this morning. It was really something. Teaching has it's down moments, but the up moments completely outweigh the down times.

We leave tomorrow morning. We have a house rented that will be joining two Ironman hopeful families (myself, my husband, and one of my best friends). We have family and friends staying with us, we'll be surrounded by love, and I want to relish EVERY moment of the next few days. I know it's going to go by too fast (except for the miles on the marathon, I'm sure those are going to drag on and on.)

Race day forecast is currently 76 degrees and sunny. Wow. How awesome is that!?

www.ironman.com #2275

It's time. I still feel like I need to pinch myself.
Here's to reaching your dreams!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today's emotion?

And the big announcer's voice comes across and asks, "On the Ironman emotional roller coaster, what is the Turtle feeling today?"

The answer: Excitement!

Today I want the picture of me crossing the finish SO bad! I want this! I want SO bad to return to school in my Ironman finisher t-shirt so that all my students and colleagues see that I did it! I want this!!!!! Today, I can't wait! Barring any major physical problems, I really should be able to do this in the 17 hours or less! I CAN do this!

Iron drama

I feel like a total freak these days with the roller coaster rides of emotions that I'm feeling... But I think it's normal for any first-time Ironman competitor.

Anyways, today's over-thought out emotion is this: my predicted times are such that I could easily end up between 16-17 hours. I've read about people that thought they would finish there, but didn't finish at all. I've been trying so hard to mentally prepare myself to be okay with the journey if I don't finish...

But... There's a certain degree of self-fulfillment that I need to deal with. If I go into this knowing that I'll be okay if I don't finish... Who's to say that I won't quit when my legs are toast and more pain-filled than I ever thought imaginable... at mile 13 of the run? I can't let myself believe that it is okay to quit. I have to know I can do this! I have to believe it! I have to know that I will not quit! Somehow I need to balance the emotions of "It's okay if you don't finish" and "It's NOT okay if you don't finish!"

Stay tuned for more prerace Ironman drama queen action tomorrow!

Numbers

2275

It's just a number, but it's so much more.... It's hours and hours and miles and miles of devotion. It's a number that represents a day that I won't long forget. It's a number that represents how much and how far I can push myself.

Strangers and not strangers

1) I have a class of 6th graders that changes electives every 9 weeks. Yesterday was my first day with them. They are now gone until Monday to attend 6th grade Outdoor Ed. I will see the kids Monday and Tuesday of next week, and then I will be leaving them for a few days to accomplish this crazy dream. I apologized to the kids for leaving them when they get back. (We will have had only had four days together and then they have a sub for a week.) I explained why they'll have a sub, and what it was that I'll be doing and couldn't help but mention how scared I was.

Today, one of those students told me that she talked to her dad last night. He hopes to someday run in the Boston Marathon. He wanted his daughter to tell me that their family believes in me.... I got teary-eyed on the spot.

2) I have family and friends coming to Florida. We gave our parents the plane tickets because it means so much to us that they be there, but they still had to take the time out of their busy schedules. We have other friends that just decided to come and support us. We didn't bribe them or anything. Wow. Ironman was supposed to be a test and proof of what our bodies can do... I had no idea it would offer proof that we are blessed with a great family and some of the best friends in the world.

Colorado weather

Did I mention the beautiful Colorado bike ride I went on two days ago? Yes, I even re-created a couple tan lines that were fading from the summer. One thing you can never trust in Colorado... the weather. It was 79 degrees and sunny yesterday.

The front yard this morning:

And the Backyard...

Florida is gonna be nice!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BOO-YA!!!!

Finally! A 100 deposit into the bank of Ironman!!!!!! Yahoo!

I haven't done 100 yet, several 80 - 85 milers, so I feel like I hit a milestone today. Two out and backs of beautiful remote undeveloped Colorado roads with no stop lights and the type of scenery you'd expect when you think of Colorado. Definitely a ride I will look back and smile about when I think back to the training I did for IM. If you live in Colorado, the stretch of Perry Park Rd. from Sedalia to Palmer Lake makes for an amazing ride.

Thanks to my good friend Scott for doing the first 50 miles of that ride with me. That's especially meaningful if you knew what a speed junkie he is (and you consider what a speed demon I am not!)

Some notes to self - Second loop was only off 6 minutes from the first. Nice job Turtle! I slowed down eleven minutes on the way out, and made up five on the way. I'm pretty happy with that. I need to eat more often than I did. I don't drink coffee or soda for the most part, so I really felt the caffeinated gel kick in half way out on the second loop. Maybe I should keep the caffeinated gels in reserve at the race? 6:50 pedal time, 7:30 actual time. I took three 10 minute plus stops, plus two shorts breaks to take in gels. I need to cut those breaks if I want to do 112 in 8 hours or less--but I really did feel oh so much better when I got off the seat for a little bit. The time cutoffs make me SO nervous. Butt hurt the worst between hours 3 - 4 1/2, then I forgot about it. I did take on 1500 feet in elevation on the two outs, dropped 1500 in elevation on both backs, but that could work out to be the same if I end up with strong winds on the flat course in Florida.

Overall, a great ride. This was the type of ride that I can look back on and know that I enjoyed my training. Now... On to my taper!!!! (Yep, an Ironman taper... That means I only have to run for two hours tomorrow instead of three! Yippee!)

The journey has been awesome

My blog started with an "Oh what the heck, I don't actually think anybody cares, but it'll be fun for me" attitude. And it has fulfilled that.

Random facts about me: 1) I'm extremely shy--IF you don't know me well. 2) If I'm comfortable around you--BEWARE! I'm willing to say just about anything, and I've lost good friends because I say things I'm thinking, but probably shouldn't say out loud. That's a dangerous trait to have in an semi-anonymous forum. Having a blog has been a blessing and a curse. Sometimes I'm an idiot and now total strangers know this... Nice... Then again, I've had people say things that mean the world to me, especially in these last few days before Ironman.

Every day is a complete emotional roller coaster ride right now as we count down the last few days before we leave. My husband and I went to breakfast yesterday with our "Athlete Information Guide." I can't deny that my stomach was completely filled with butterflies while we looked at it. I'm so proud of my husband for doing this (I can't wait to see how he does!) and if I can finish before the time cutoffs, it's gonna be the coolest thing ever! I definitely have moments where I'm proud of all the hard work we've put in the last year. We're gonna be Ironmen! Then there are other moments... The moments where I'm scared to death, wondering how I ever got myself in this boat. I do not fit in the same category as Ironman triathletes. What the heck was I thinking when I signed up for this??????????

A very, very good friend sent me a personal email regarding my "I'm a poser" lament. She reminded me that no matter who you are, you're never good enough. There's always going to be someone better that you could compare yourself with. But just because there is someone better than you, it doesn't make you a failure.

Somehow, somewhere I went from "Anybody that finishes sub 17 is AWESOME!!!" to suddenly wondering, "Even if I do finish at 16:59, do I suck? And what if I don't finish at all?" I'm not sure where all this is coming from, I really don't. I know it's not healthy or positive.

My friend writes in her email to me:
I understand that someone has to cross the finish line first, and some will cross it last or not at all, but if you finish, didn't you all just do the same thing?
I want to retaliate, "Yes, but there are those people..." Here comes idiot girl again! Quit doing that to yourself Turtle!
if this race (and everything leading up to it) is giving you what you hoped to gain from it emotionally, physically, and spiritually, then it will be a success. and what would that have to do with those people who finish in the front with their shorts stinking of pee?
Ha Ha Ha. Oh my gosh, that's awesome! A quote that makes you feel good and laugh at the same time. Am I lucky to have a friend like that or what!? I had some pretty cool comments from other bloggers, too.

I may say some stupid things on my blog, but in the end, it has been an important part of my training. Thanks for reading. Thanks for the support.

If nothing else, my journey to Ironman has been absolutely fulfilling. No matter how it ends, it HAS been a good and memorable year.

The run scares me

The swim: I can do it. Barring shark attacks, jellyfish, high waves, or a really bad current, I know I can do this within the cutoff.

The bike: My arse is gonna hurt like it's never hurt before. As long as I pedal, pedal, continue to pedal, and pedal some more and take limited potty breaks here or there (no wasting time! Can't afford to waste ANY time.) I can do it.

The run: Man oh man, the run is gonna hurt. I did 16 miles today. I did not swim or bike beforehand. My legs really hurt for the last few miles. I wasn't out of breath, my heartrate was in a great spot, my legs and muscles just hurt. That's not necessarily anything living and training at altitude will help with. When I finished, I really could not fathom starting my run on tired legs, and then doing 10 more miles. The run really, really scares me. (The good news is that my legs were just painful the first 20 minutes after I stopped running, and then they felt okay. Recovery is going well.)

pee stories

Hee hee. What the heck. I just did a post on all my deep down inner ugly feelings. Might as well throw this one out there, too.

Do you know what it means for me to be doing the longest swim sets ever as I prepare for an Ironman? It means that I will inevitably have to get out of the pool mid-workout and have to pee! I can't deny that I haven't considered just going in the pool, but I have NOT done it! I swear! I always get out! Yes, I've peed in my wetsuit, mid-race, in the lake, but NEVER ever never in the pool! The lifeguards usually look at me funny when I've just completed 2000 yards and then I get back in to do more, but I want to be an Ironman. That's how I roll. :)

Yesterday I had an enlightening conversation with Bob the friendly teacher moonlighting as a bike mechanic. He was telling me how he HATES working on triathlete's bikes. And he works at a bike shop that has their own tri club! Tough gig for him. He said one bike came in smelling like urine so bad, the shop refused to work on it. Yes, if you didn't know, that's because the person peed on their bike while riding. I haven't been able to do that, but it always sounded like a badge of honor. To hear Bob talk about it (he said they wear gloves anytime they work on a tri bike!) it just sounds GROSS! Ewwww!!!! Suddenly all of those rock star triathletes that I looked up to just aren't as cool as I once thought they were. Maybe it's not so bad being an average Joe wanna-be. Ha!

Am I a poser?

Why am I doing this? You can't sign up for an Ironman, devote a year of your life, and not ask yourself this a million times. We're going on almost three years of not being able to get pregnant, and I think this was an absolute fantastic reason to do something crazy, build our marriage, and give us something else to obsess about. (And it completely fulfilled those things! Our marriage is the strongest it has ever been.) Only, I wasn't supposed to be doing this race. I thought for sure that if I signed up, got my heart set on it, I would get pregnant and not be able to compete. We figured either way it would be a win-win for us. We SIGNED UP for good reasons.

But the day is almost here. I'm not pregnant, and Ironman is now less than three weeks away. I have a 3.5 hour jog tomorrow, and then the taper begins. I need to have good reasons to FINISH this race. When I don't want to do lap 2 of the swim, and my butt is hurting on the bike, and my legs just don't want to move another inch and it's only mile 8, let alone what they'll feel like at mile 20, I need to have good reasons for finishing.

I found a quote in an article about the Chicago Marathon that gave me a little punch in the gut--it rang true with me, and in the grand scheme of all that is right in the world, I can't tell if it's a good thing, or a bad thing.

(Off-topic sidenote story: I finally got to speak with a friend that was AT the Chicago Marathon last week. She said it WAS bad. And she wouldn't point the finger at one thing in general. She said the heat was brutal. She said the people struggling, in her opinion, were mostly first-timers. The race ran low on water and they just didn't have the services to help all the people that needed help. She said it was mostly just a scary, eery feeling hearing ambulances non-stop the last few miles. She felt the directors made a good decision when they called it.) Anyways, back to the article. The gist of the article was that 45,000 people is too many people to be able to run a quality race. But... 45,000 people sure can bring in a lot of tourist dollars. Lots of interesting conversations you could have on the subject, but here is the quote that punches me in the gut for some strange reason:

"Today, the marathon has become the everyday man's or woman's Mount Everest," said Richard Finn, the spokesman for the New York Road Runners, which organizes the New York City Marathon. "It's a physical challenge, it's something you can be proud of - beat your chest about later."

Bottom line, at this point in the game, that's exactly where I fit in. This race is now a Mt. Everest for me. When it comes right down to it, I won't know until the I near the finish line if I'm gonna cross the finish line or not. If I do cross the finish line, I'm gonna be VERY proud of myself. I will want to beat my chest over it, forever!

Here's what I'm dealing with today. I'm questioning whether or not I'm a poser in this game. Sharon said that many of the people struggling at the Chicago Marathon were first timers. I'll be THAT person at Ironman. Gosh I sure hope I don't put anybody or anything into jeopardy because I'm slow and sometimes a wuss. I've read blogs where people say, "You have to LOVE triathlon if you want to do an Ironman." Do I LOVE it? Sometimes. Do I eat, breath, sleep it? No. (Although if you looked at my non-existent social life and dirty house, you'd think I did.)

The weather today was cold and gray. Not typical Colorado weather. I HAD to go for a long bike ride. I saw several other cyclists and I just looked at them wondering, "I HAVE to do this. Why the heck are you out here on this cold and dreary day?" I uttered and I really do mean it, "Next year, when I don't want to ride my bike on a cold and yucky mid-October day, I'm not going to!!!"

Now what kind of piss poor attitude is that for a wanna-be Ironman? The other cyclists that I saw today probably LOVE cycling. I can't wait for the day that I don't have to ride my bike? Huh?

Why do I want to complete my own personal Mt. Everest? Why do we humans do this? (Okay some humans, not all--I have relatives and coworkers that don't see the point.) I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I've already been thinking, "What can I do next?" Ironman isn't a lifestyle for me. It has some great perks, but it's not always a "fun" lifestyle. It's an Everest. Does that make me a poser? What exactly does it mean to be an Ironman?

I don't know. I guess in the grand scheme of things it doesn't change the fact that I hope to put it all out there and know that no matter how it ends, I gave it everything I had. (And then hopefully beat my chest!!!!!!!) So many questions, so many self-doubts.

Don't even get me started on all the "Did I really do all that I could do to prepare for this?" questions that I'm asking myself right now.

Clean hands

I think I have the cleanest hands ever. With the race becoming closer by the second, and me working with all matter of germs that can be associated with 12-14 yr. olds... Yep, I'm washing my hands ALL the time. Please don't let me get sick now!

Ironman prep

Hey blogland! Thanks for all the good vibes last week. My teacher mechanic friend was able to get the parts to fix my bike. Yeah! Panic attack thwarted! And let me tell you, it rode SOOO nice after the tune-up and new parts.

I was able to get the six hour bike ride in this past weekend. :) I had a little dilemma though. Saturday was accurately forecasted with 25-35 mph winds, with occasional 40 mph gusts, but nice warm 70-80 degree temps. Sunday the weather had a high of 48 and rain forecasted. Hmmm... Which day for the bike? Which day for the run? I chose windy ride, and cold run (which turned out to be a PERFECT day for a run! I think it had to be low 50's and sunny. Absolutely perfect running weather.)

So... I'm getting a pretty good mental game together for my big race. Things I've learned in my training:

- I've been practicing my nutrition all summer. It's not perfect, but I think I've finally got it nailed down. For the bike: Clif bars, Clif Bloks, and Powerbar brand gels (Powerbar has extra electrolytes.) Every 45 minutes, not every hour (that wasn't enough this past weekend.) Although I've been told nothing solid the last two hours of the bike. My coach would rather I didn't do solid foods at all, but I found I really do crave it on the bike. I'll stick with just gels on the run. Boy, I'm not looking forward to that...
- Someone suggested, and I want to follow, that I put Vaseline on my lips before the salt water swim. I definitely noticed some funkiness while goofing off in the ocean in California. Will do it!
- I found a bike jersey on clearance at Performance a couple weeks ago. I really like it. It's red and that's my favorite color. I thought that it would be perfect for photos. Unfortunately I learned this past weekend, the pockets are smaller than standard jersey pockets. Hard to hold food, extra tube, etc. for six plus hours of riding. Another lesson learned!
- I want to take two tubes and two CO2 cartridges. Possibly throw more in my special needs bag.
- I think I want to put some eye drops in my T2 bag. After a long bike, my contact lenses get dry. Chapstik, too.
- Maybe I do need to get off the bike after a couple hours, just for a minute or two, to get some blood flowing in my booty. Helped on my long rides the last two weekends. I think the pro's outweigh the con's. I'll be playing this one by ear on race day.
- Goggle dilemma, I'm thinking comfort over peripheral vision. Small competitive style goggles.
- By swimming in hot sulphur mineral springs, I think I've got over the mental block of the yucky salt water taste in my mouth.
- I've trained in all types of conditions: rain, wind, heat, before the sunrise, middle of the day, in the dark. (I'm lacking cold weather training, but the next couple of weeks seem to have that base covered--could also use some training in humidity.) Oh yeah, I've trained at altitude, so that should help.
- I got another flat tire this past weekend. I insisted on changing it myself. Rear wheel, too! My poor husband watched on while people rode by and looked at him with an eye of disgust as he made his wife change her own flat. He's such a sweetie! I feel like I could do it no problem if I had to.
- We have lodging, airfare, rental car, bike transport...

I'm at the do or die stage in my training. I have two weeks left of heavy stuff. I can't believe it. Do I feel ready? Absolutely not. Would I feel ready if I were faster? Maybe. Those time cut-offs scare me a ton. Obviously I've not done the entire distance... But soon I have to show up. I have to know that I've done everything I could do physically and mentally. The real question is whether or not my legs can do what I need them to do. My brain has done everything it can do. I'm just wondering about this body of mine. It's kind of a scary funny peaceful feeling when you hit this point.

I still have a 3.5 hour run and another six hour bike to go... So I'm not at that point JUST yet, but almost...

25 days, 9 hours, 19 minutes. When will you ever have an event in your life where 25 days seems SO close? (Let me answer that one... It's gotta be childbirth... But I don't know what else might fall in the same category.)

Mean people suck

And today, I'M going to be the mean person... Yes, today it's ME. I have a blog, and it's semi-anonymous, so I'm just going to rant, get it all out there, and be a mean person.

I'm in the teacher's lounge today, and someone decides to talk over the entire 20 foot table to tell me that their brother finished the Chicago marathon this weekend. "Hey, that's awesome, good for him." It actually made me feel good that this person bypassed and decided to talk over 15 people to share this news with ME. Pretty cool.

Apparently, being the mean and cocky triathlete that I am, I wasn't as enthusiastic and impressed as I was supposed to be.

Others joined in to tell me, "But did you hear about it? OMG!"

I just casually acknowledged that yes, I had heard it was 88 degrees and they were afraid that they would run out of ambulances so they called the race off. I think Susie really just wanted to brag that her brother was FAST enough that he missed all the late in the race drama. I'm kind of ticked that they didn't say congrats in his regards, instead they tuned in on the fact that I "wasn't getting it".

The others, not Susie, continued to tell me all about the heat that those people endured. I tried to be nice. (I'm from Michigan, I DO get humidity. I do!) so I commented, "Yeah, I'm sure it must have been the humidity, but I did a half-ironman this past summer in 98 degree heat."

That my friends, did not go over well...

"Yeah, but you didn't have humidity! And they had to take people to the hospital! Somebody died!"

I quickly took my place and shut up, because I was going to get no kudos for my endeavors. These people really do not understand what I do. But I'm home tonight and just slightly upset about the run of that conversation. I looked up the stats. 45,000 people signed up to do the Chicago Marathon. Okay, apparently, only 35,000 showed up. Another 10,000 never finished (in part because they closed the course mid-race.) 250 people needed medical attention. One person died.

So, the one person died of heart problems, not heat. And... if you do the math, 250 people out of 35,000 that started the race--that's less that one percent. While I can't say with complete certainty, I'm pretty confident that at least one percent (probably more!) of the people in my upcoming Ironman will need medical assistance. Heck, I might even be one of them. Have I ever done a triathlon where someone died? YES I have! (Boulder Peak 05') Again, not because of the triathlon, but because of other health problems.

Now, I will give Barry Siff many props for running a fantastic half ironman race in the heat last August, and if there hadn't have been enough water, or Gatorade, or ice for that matter, there would have been more problems. (apparently there wasn't enough water and Gatorade in Chicago.) We're also starting to acclimate to colder temps, so 88 seems a whole lot hotter than it did last summer. But C'MON! Don't blow the triathlete off. Give triathletes SOME credit. Grrr........

30 days out

Shout out to my friend Scott who shares the best kind of "live vicariously through the single guy" stories with me--but doesn't want to be named on my blog. Ha! You made it anyways! I love you man! He did a century ride recently and definitely gave me (and surely every other triathlete out there) props for sitting on that bike seat and then trying to run afterwards.

I'm working hard this week. Thirty days to go. Ai yi yi. I had to do a 3200 (8x400 with :30 rest breaks) in the pool tonight, took me approx. an hour and 20 minutes. That was pretty good for me. If nothing else, I've made some nice gains in my swimming this past year.

I needed to get a tune up on my bike before the big race. I'm so proud of myself. In true Ironman style, I got up at 4:45 a.m. yesterday morning so I could fit the hour bike and 45 minute run in before I gave up my bike for a few days. The great part was that I don't think I was fully awake until the last 20 minutes of the run, so believe it or not, it went by pretty fast. I don't plan to make it a habit, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it was gonna be.

Triathlete joke:

Q: How can you pick out a triathlete?

A: They are the ones that get up at 4 a.m. but don't get to work until 9!

I gave my bike to one of the teachers I work with that also moonlights at one of the local bike shops. It was great because he knows I'm on a tight schedule and he promised to keep my bike for only a day or two so I could get it back to train. Unfortunately, he came to school today and told me that a piece of my rear derailer is messed up (the hanger is stripped?) He's going in tonight to see if they have one in stock, but there's a chance he might need to order it. It could take one to two weeks to come in... Send me good vibes and well wishes that they have one in the shop. I'm supposed to do a six hour ride this weekend. I can ride my mountain bike for the shorter rides, but I'm not doing six hours on my mountain bike. Warning to all my roadie friends: I might be looking for a bike to borrow this weekend...

Lots O' Stuff

I'm panicking because I worry that I'm not doing enough. Blogs are so awesome. Someone reminded me to trust my training and not try to overdue it. Point taken. Talked to my coach tonight to express those concerns, and he validated the need to workout midweek, but with monster weekend workouts, I don't need to kill myself midweek. Apparently I'm on the right track.

Unfortunately I didn't get the full monster bike in this past weekend. My lovely husband had the last minute idea to go up to Glenwood Springs for the weekend. (If you're not from Colorado and ever come out to visit, it's a beautiful area, with a 14 mile canyon with bike trail through it, and the world's largest hot springs. You gotta go there!) Anyways, Glenwood was awesome. It was windy and rainy Saturday and we didn't embark on our run until later in the evening, so both my husband and I had the privilege of running in some rough conditions, but that was cool. We're training for an Ironman, and every workout like that gets put in the bank of non-easy Ironman workouts, and those are the kind that help out my confidence issues. I did 10 miles in just over 2 hours. Pretty typical for me, but it was cool because somehow I found myself at 7 miles without even realizing it. At that point, three miles? Pfffp. Cake.

Unfortunately, the five hour bike ride the following day didn't go so well. Both my husband AND I, in our haste to leave town, packed everything except our bike shoes. I still managed 51 miles in tennis shoes on SPD pedals. Not the most comfortable, and anymore might have caused some injuries, but it was a beautiful ride despite the uncomfortableness.

We followed all that up with a 1000 meters in the hot springs--and that water tastes nasty!!! More good Ironman training for when I try to swim in the yucky tasting salt water!

Did I mention how wonderful my husband is? I have a later post completely being written in my head right now about how wonderful it has been to train with my husband. We don't really train together, but we always come back together after our training. It's been one of the best things ever for our marriage.

And last but not least, I mentioned in my last post that I see this guy training rain or shine every morning on my way to work. I'm dying to know what he's training for. Last week, the local newspaper highlighted a guy that has been trying to get in the lottery for the Kona Ironman for 15 years. He finally made it in! And I looked at him the other morning, and then looked at the article... And I'm not positive, but I think it's that guy. Go figure... I'm dying to know what he's training for... And it turns out he's training for Kona. Very cool.

Have a great week! Living the dream. :)

Questions

Last week, post half-ironman, I was struggling with sloth-like tendencies. I was pretty tired and forcing myself to workout was a struggle. I did most of my workouts, but I justified some extra time off because I knew my body was very tired and it needed to recover.

This week, I'm back on the train. Funny thing is... I'm questioning whether the train is going fast enough.

As you get closer to something like an Ironman, I wonder if it's totally normal to start questioning yourself and your training. I did an hour and a half brick tonight. Hour bike, half hour run. I did a similar workout two nights ago but it required elevated heartrates. Tonight I just had to go do the brick and keep my heartrate down. While it'd be a stretch to say that I wanted to run longer, I just don't feel like it's enough. Hmmm... I'm betting this is normal, but it's making me a little crazy thinking about it. .

They must be training

Denver, Colorado proudly boasts 300 days of sun a year.
Today was not one of them.

Yes, the fall season is very pretty and I always love the first time I reach into the closet to pull out a sweater... But overall, fall represents a lot of things I don't like. It represents going back to school, and more importantly, it represents the end of summer and the coming of a long cold winter. Boo hiss.

When I lived in the midwest, fall was always peppered with many beautiful warm indian summer days. We don't see as many of those living in Colorado. It seems like it's just suddenly cold one day. When the weather changes out here, you really never know what you're going to get. 75 degrees one day, snow the next, 70's the following day again. True! It happens! The snow is already flying in the mountains and anyone that truly has a passion for skiing is already giddy with excitement... But I'm just not ready for the cold temps! (The bonus is that we'll get random warm days midwinter and spring shows up earlier here than it does in the midwest--so it all works out in the wash.)

So today: I need to do a one hour ride immediately followed by a 45 minute run for a "Brick" workout. This was supposed to be scheduled tomorrow (when it's supposed to be blue skies, sunny and 70! Argh!) but alas I have parent teacher conferences tomorrow night. So bad weather or not, I need to git 'er done tonight. I had a lazy rough recovery week last week. Can't do that again this week.

So I get home from school today, break out the arm warmers, leg warmers and jacket. I had to dig for them and that saddened me. I load up the bike to head over to the flattest trail I know that also offers a great flat running trail also. It's cold! It's only in the 50's, and very dark and cloudy. I realize that I forgot my gloves. Brrr.... 15 minutes in to my ride, it starts raining. At first I thought I was riding through a swarm of gnats and they were making noise hitting my windbreaker. Nope. Those were raindrops. I'm already cold, and I know my windbreaker won't keep me dry. I wuss out and head home to put the bike on the trainer. (I know, I know. If Kirk is reading this he can brag about all the cold weather rides he did on the Platte trail when he was training for his Ironman. I'm a wuss! What can I say? I was cold and just didn't see the point.)

Of course the rain stops when I get home. I ride on the trainer for the prescribed hour, then head out for the run. (It's now dark out because naturally I wasted a bunch of time.) I kid you not, five minutes into my run, it starts raining again. !!!!??? What the heck? Is this a sign of what I can expect at IMFL? It wasn't a hard rain, just a light steady sprinkle, so I pushed through it and did the entire run workout.

I don't usually work out in the mornings primarily because I'm a not a morning person AND I'd have to get up butt early to get to work on time (I have to be to work 7-ish everyday.) While driving to work I saw this guy running in a pouring rain one morning. I've also seen him biking two other mornings at the same 7 o'clock hour. I'm dying to know what he's training for.

I felt good tonight thinking that maybe somebody was driving by me tonight, in the dark, while it was raining, and maybe, just maybe, somebody drove by me and wondered, "I wonder what she's training for?"


39 days and a whole lot of fear and nerves to go.

Harvest Moon Race Report

Pre-race, I kept telling myself, "It's just a long training day." I was doing everything possible to keep my nerves at bay. My coach didn't make a big deal about it. I didn't taper at all. I had a three hour bike ride midweek and my legs were screaming from the long ride last weekend. It's just a long training day. You tell yourself that, but it's still a race. How can you not be nervous?

It began the day before... Packet pickup. We're rushing around trying to fit a zillion things into that day. We had a couples bridal shower that started at the same time as packet pickup. We did not look like triathletes at that moment. In fact, all my friends at the shower later gave me a really hard time because they haven't seen me in dress in a long time. Walking out of packet pickup, I ran into Tea and I recognized her from her blog. Scary thing is that I looked her up and down like I do every other triathlete--I looked at her ripped arms and immediately thought "That girl's going to kick my butt tomorrow." Then I recognized her... The Hi's and hello's ensued. I'm just now getting online and realized all the smack she posted on her blog after the encounter because I was in a dress and heels! Nice! As much as I would have loved to give her a hard time about it post-race, I'm glad I didn't read the smack beforehand. She did so great and smack talk would not have been called for at the finish line--just high-fives! (But I did get a kick out of it Tea!)

Race day. Emotions and jitters galore. It's just a training day, right?

As I picked up my timing chip pre-race, who should hand me my chip? DUANE!!!! Okay, if you want inspiration, check out his tri blog. He is one heck of a guy. And as inspiring as his story is, he is even nicer in person. I really felt like a met a legend yesterday. I'm a wannabe triathlete and sometimes blogger. He's the real deal. He is a standup guy all the way around. Thanks for everything Duane!

One of the things that really touched me yesterday was the support of my friends-old and new. It means SO much, but I'll save it for the post-race wrapup at the end.

The swim:

Water was cold, but not the worst ever. I've swam in warmer, I've swam in colder. Immediately I was side-by-side with a girl that started swimming off course to the right. She was pushing me off course. Eventually I just had to slow down, let her pass and head even farther off course, and then get myself straight again. Naturally I worry a lot about this with the 2000 person mass start in a month and a half at IMFL. But then again, it's not something I can control... Neither is the fact that I couldn't see the buoys as we swam straight into the sun, but I made due. I made the halfway point in 20 minutes. Not bad. At this pace I could beat my swim time from the Long Course a month ago. Only... At the turn... I got kicked or punched, I don't know, in the face. Didn't hurt and wouldn't be any big deal at all, it's pretty normal in a triathlon swim... Except that they knocked my goggles out of place... And they started leaking... And I wear contacts, so leaky goggles are my nemesis.

Now the goggles are another story in and of themself. My favorite goggles are the little ones that all the competitive pool swimmers use. After having them on for a while, they hurt and leave bad rings around my eyes that make me look like I haven't slept in two weeks, so I tried a new pair this summer. The new pair is a little bigger so I can see way better in the open water with them. Only they leak sometimes, so I have to crank them down tight... And that has given me a couple really bad headaches. So this past week I tried a new pair. Wore them in the pool last week without taking them off for an hour solid to make sure I didn't get the headache. They leaked at first, but I thought I figured out the trick. My IMWI 06 friend Kirk swears by the big honking goggles.

Except once they got punched or whatever, I was done for. Apparently big goggles get hit even easier. I'd stop, tread water, fix them, they'd leak some more, I'd stop, ya da, ya da, ya da. Oh well, I made it in for an uneventful swim other than that and I have no clue on earth which goggles I should wear to IMFL. Swim time: 45 minutes, a month ago it was 46, so I'm happy with that. Not sure about doing two loops of the stuff, but if I hadn't have had leaky goggles, I really feel like I could have swam the 1.2 miles straight without stopping or switching strokes. It was good!

The bike-

Oh my gosh... The bike... Everybody said, "Rolling hills on the first and last part, the rest is relatively flat." I've done a shorter tri on the first and last part of this course. They are some good hills. I knew this. No problem. I took it slow, dropped it into my granny gear whenever possible. No sweat. Two hours into the ride... No problem...

(Except for when I had to pee. I'm still not on the 'pee on the bike' band wagon. At the porta-potty, some guy went in right before I got there. I waited about 30 seconds, and realized he was taking too long. There weren't very many people around, so I went behind the porta-potty, dropped trow, and peed. I really had to pee. I went as fast as I could. I know the guy inside could hear me. We both finished at the same time. He came out, looked at me, I shrugged my shoulders and said "I didn't want to wait." He looked at me like I was the most immodest woman on earth, but I didn't care. In a race situation in the middle of nowhere... I really don't care. Best part was me telling my husband this story post-race. rather loud, and I see the guy two tables over... I had changed my shirt for the run so he might not have recognized me... But he did now!!!)

Okay, so two hours of feeling great on the bike. People are passing me (actually, there weren't very many people left to pass me) but I just kept telling myself, "You're gonna have a great half marathon today!!! You go girl! Save the energy!"

Then came the second half. Long story short, I didn't appreciate all the downhills early on. I thought I was on one big flat for an hour and a half... I wasn't. It was one big downhill. Because I spent the next two hours going up and up and up. And everytime I'd get to the top of a hill, I'd see the next hill, and it was higher up. And each time, you'd swear there would have to be a good down hill somewhere, but it wasn't there. I did in the last stretch catch and pass five girls. They were the only people I passed while I was on the bike, but I feel like I saved my legs for as much as I could, and in doing so, I was smarter than those five girls. Yeah me.

I FINALLY get off the bike (3 hours 57 minutes later). Yahoo! I was so happy to get my butt off that seat! I was a happy camper. I saw my mother-in-law and she was cheering for me. I saw Duane and he was cheering for me. I was happy to be off the bike, and for once in my life, I was happy to start running. Did I mention how bad my butt was hurting from that seat???????

The Run:

If I had started that run after two hours on the bike, I think I would have rocked. But those hills really burnt my legs up. My coach told me to speed walk the first five minutes. Check. No problem there. Then I was to work up to a jog. Check. Jog 9 minutes, walk 1 minute. That's what I was supposed to do. First 9 minutes and an aid station. Check. Next one... I wonder if I can do 8 minutes... That's what IronWil was planning to do for her full IM, and my coach told me to use this as training for the big race. So the next one, I only jog 8 minutes and start walking... Only, my legs are really, really tight.

The next mile got really bad. I had what I call "Water buffalo" syndrome and food and liquids just didn't sound like they were going to sit in my stomach and take the bouncing. This was not a good feeling when I still had 10 miles to go. Ugh. I don't remember if it was mile 3 or 4, but I did eventually force myself to take a power gel. I was hurting, and I just didn't know what the miracle cure was. Apparently, I really just needed to eat. I saw my husband not long after that because it was an out and back course. He did so well! I'm so proud of him. I also knew he would finish a good hour/ hour and a half in front of me. I felt bad that he was gonna have to wait for me to run 10 miles before he'd see me again. Boy, he must have rocked the house today. (And it turns out he did! He finished a full hour and a half in front of me, and he had started five minutes after me. He was a rock star!)

I did a lot of walking in this stretch. This isn't my race, this is just a training day, I don't care! I had all matter of negative thoughts going through my head during this point in the race. Bad, very bad. I knew this. I told myself that I would try to jog for five minutes before I walked next. Before I knew it, I could see the mile 5 aid station. Somehow, my tight legs carried me to the 6 mile aid station. I ran to the turnaround. I ran back to the aid station. I loved the workers at that aid station. They cheered me on both ways. "I just ran all that without stopping!" They cheered some more! I thanked them for everything and kept going.

I also recognized Tea just as I was coming into that aid station. She was behind me? Really? I was shocked. I thought for sure she was a long ways in front of me.

So now I've also got the self talk going "Five miles left, just five miles..." My mind wasn't working. I'm just now realizing that I had six, but at that moment I thought I had five. And I was questioning if I could walk five miles in 1:25 faster than I could jog it. I'm also eyeing the really, really dark clouds in the distance. Hmmm.... I wonder if I'm gonna make it in before that storm hits? And hour and a half left... Yikes, better not think about that...

As much as I labored about walking the rest, I decided that I had been doing well, so I would jog five walk one for as long as I could. It was taking me into the aid stations almost perfectly, too. I'll just do that until I can't do it anymore.

The clouds keep getting darker and darker... But I'm amazingly still jogging... It hurts, a lot! But I'm still doing it! My tight legs were just numb and running on auto pilot.

I'm watching the lightning in the distance.

Somewhere between 3-4 miles left, the fatty raindrops started. No sprinkles, just fatty cold rain drops. The wind had also kicked up pretty darn good. I just kept thinking, "Please don't hail, please don't hail." Brrrr...... Now I was getting cold. Best way to stay warm? Run!!!! No walking girlfriend! Unless you want hypothermia!

I was also thinking about my in-laws. Would they stick around until the finish in this stuff? I knew my husband would. He had to. Would they let him load up my bike and transition gear so it wouldn't get soaked (he didn't even try. It was completely soaked.) BOOM!!!!! Thunder and lightning. I jump about a foot off the ground. It's now pouring rain, it's cold, I'm soaked to the core. Nobody was at the aid station when I passed it, I was so happy they didn't make the volunteers sit through that. BOOM!!!! Another too close for comfort lightning and thunder bolt scare the wits out of me. Are they gonna pull me off the course??? OH NO!!! I have to finish!!! I can't DNF!!!!! I run, and try to run some more. I want to finish!!! But I still have at least 30 more minutes!!! AHHH! I bet my husband is worried about me. How on earth can I get there sooner? Gosh! Please! How? There is no way. You just have to run as fast as you can! But I can't any faster! It hurts! And now each of my feet each weigh about 10 pounds extra each because my shoes are just soggy waterlogged pieces of rubber sloshing the ground every step.

I pushed through about 20 minutes of a fantastic thunderstorm when it starts to let up. I'm now about a mile away. I just want to send my husband mental telepathy messages "I'm coming! I'm really trying to get there as fast as I can!" The last mile has some nice hills in it. I walk the uphills. Oh man, does it hurt.

I look behind me. I see someone about a 1/2 mile back in black. Oh my gosh! Is Tea catching me? I finally just met her in person, but I don't want her to think I'm a wimp walking! I start running again. Ugh. It hurts. Run faster. You can't let her catch you! I don't know if Tea is that competitive or not, so I imagine it's my friend Amy. Amy would totally play that game with me... Amy would run her heart out with all the pain in the world in an effort to catch me. Only I know I don't always have the mental toughness to push through the pain like she does. But this is a new friend... I'm a new person to her. I'm tough. I have to show her I'm tough. It's hurting. But she's not going to catch me.

There is now about 3/4 of a mile left. I'm giving it everything I have because I now also have the motivation that I'm going to beat the half marathon time from my last half IM. I don't know how that happened, but there might be some saving grace in this race after all. Some guy is ahead yelling. I don't know what he's yelling. I ignore the crazy person. Gosh, my legs are so tight. Did I mention it hurt??? Man, does it hurt. I get closer... And oh my gosh... He's yelling "Go Lori!" The guy in the hawiian shirt is yelling "Go Lori!" Do I know that person???? Who the heck is that? My eyes just well up in tears. It's Tim, the best man at our wedding. He's here to run me into the finish line. I asked how my husband did. He said great. He talked me to the finish line. I'm sure my pace was a crawl, but he made me feel like I just finished the Boston Marathon.

Then, with the finish line all blown over from the storm, maybe fifteen people still hanging around... I see Duane at the finish line. I hug him. My mother and father-in-law were STILL there! Almost eight hours from my start time that morning, and they were STILL there! Wow!

My legs immediately seized up, and they've pretty much stayed that way for the next 24 hours, but I did it. I still don't know if I can do the full distance in the time cutoffs, but I proved today that I CAN be mentally tough. I needed that.

I got to see my friend Tea come in. In true motherly fashion, she rushed herself and some of the kids at one of the aid stations into one of the cement restrooms to hide from the lightning. She wasn't the one running behind me. But I know how much training she's done--and it's a lot. If she struggled at all out there, I don't feel so bad about my own race. It was hard. Duane finally said goodbye. I can't believe he stuck around as long as he did. He cheered in several more runners. What a great guy.

And there are so many things I still want to digest about this event. (But it's a long post, sorry if you're still reading.) I'm trying to figure out what I can learn about this as I prepare for the full distance. Hmmm... Still working with that one. Need to figure out the goggle situation. Butt is gonna hurt massively, but for the first time, I'm really glad we chose the flat course of Florida for our first full distance. What else? Jog 5 walk 1 might be a good strategy for me. Eat something on the run even if it doesn't feel like its going to stay down.

I also need to just give a HUGE appreciative thank you to all of our friends and family. I don't know why we're doing this. I signed up to support my friend Amy that wanted to do it. We did it to take our minds off the fact that we can't seem to get pregnant for whatever reason. We signed up because we could. Because it's something we'll be forever proud of if we can do it.

But... In the process, your social life gets zapped. And that upsets me because I don't always feel like I have friends that are interested or support this huge feat in our lives. But then I remember Matt and Dani. At the shower the day before this race, Brian was giving us all sorts of props. I know Brian gets it. Chris wanted to come, but couldn't. And I know he would because he came to my last race. Mom and dad came and stayed all day. Kirk came to see us off for the swim. And Tim... Tim ran me in. Of course Amy called for the race report right after the race. Not to mention I got to meet two new friends. I am so thankful for our friends.

Thanks for reading. It might be awhile before I get to post again. It's a month and a half before the big race, and time will be tight as we fit everything in. Thanks for being a friend, and thanks reading.

AND... Good job hubby!!!! I'm so proud of how well you did!!!!! You look really great in this picture honey! I love you!

Making gains

Congrats to all the Ironman Wisconsin participants this weekend. Some finished, some did not. But they ALL put their heart and soul into it. That much I'm sure of.

I'm having a really good week this week. I hit every single one of my workouts, and my legs are sore tonight, Sunday night. I feel like I'm training for an Ironman. And that makes me happy. Sore legs make you happy you ask??? Yep... It means I didn't sit on my arse this weekend. I rode 80 miles on my bike, I ran 14 miles, and I swam about a mile, all in two days time.

It took me three hours to run the 14 miles today (my hubby did the exact same distance in 2 1/2 hours--good job hubby!) but my coach is pushing the Jog 9 min/Walk 1 min. strategy, and I padded the walk upwards of 1:30 here and there, and it worked well. When I hit the two hour mark today I was still feeling fine. And while I didn't run a minute more than I had to, I felt as though I could have run a "little" (we're not talking marathon here folks) more if I had needed to. I did well!

Not quite two years ago I started training for a marathon around this time. I did a 14 mile and a 16 mile run, and then had some health issues to which the doctor requested that I quit the marathon training. I slowly worked up to those long runs and watched myself build every week. When I finally hit the 14 and 16 mile runs, I made a HUGE deal of it. They were hard!

Today I ran the same trail that I did those long training runs on two years ago, and it was no where near the pain I remembered. AND I did it after an 80 mile bike ride yesterday. Yeah me!!!!

I don't think I've fully seen the gains I've made over the last six months because I worry too much about my speed and 'Will I be last', 'Will I make the cutoff times???' and every other possible thing I can think of to worry about. But today, I don't care about the time issues. Today I realized that I really am getting stronger. Huh. Pretty cool stuff.