I feel like a total freak these days with the roller coaster rides of emotions that I'm feeling... But I think it's normal for any first-time Ironman competitor.
Anyways, today's over-thought out emotion is this: my predicted times are such that I could easily end up between 16-17 hours. I've read about people that thought they would finish there, but didn't finish at all. I've been trying so hard to mentally prepare myself to be okay with the journey if I don't finish...
But... There's a certain degree of self-fulfillment that I need to deal with. If I go into this knowing that I'll be okay if I don't finish... Who's to say that I won't quit when my legs are toast and more pain-filled than I ever thought imaginable... at mile 13 of the run? I can't let myself believe that it is okay to quit. I have to know I can do this! I have to believe it! I have to know that I will not quit! Somehow I need to balance the emotions of "It's okay if you don't finish" and "It's NOT okay if you don't finish!"
Stay tuned for more prerace Ironman drama queen action tomorrow!
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3 comments:
Welcome to taper madness...not that this helps, but it's totally normal and expected....
As the Univ of Md. tagline goes....FEAR THE TURTLE!!
I bet once you get out there, even if you go into it thinking "it's okay if I don't finish", you'll push yourself as far as you can to get over the finish line. :D
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