The journey has been awesome

My blog started with an "Oh what the heck, I don't actually think anybody cares, but it'll be fun for me" attitude. And it has fulfilled that.

Random facts about me: 1) I'm extremely shy--IF you don't know me well. 2) If I'm comfortable around you--BEWARE! I'm willing to say just about anything, and I've lost good friends because I say things I'm thinking, but probably shouldn't say out loud. That's a dangerous trait to have in an semi-anonymous forum. Having a blog has been a blessing and a curse. Sometimes I'm an idiot and now total strangers know this... Nice... Then again, I've had people say things that mean the world to me, especially in these last few days before Ironman.

Every day is a complete emotional roller coaster ride right now as we count down the last few days before we leave. My husband and I went to breakfast yesterday with our "Athlete Information Guide." I can't deny that my stomach was completely filled with butterflies while we looked at it. I'm so proud of my husband for doing this (I can't wait to see how he does!) and if I can finish before the time cutoffs, it's gonna be the coolest thing ever! I definitely have moments where I'm proud of all the hard work we've put in the last year. We're gonna be Ironmen! Then there are other moments... The moments where I'm scared to death, wondering how I ever got myself in this boat. I do not fit in the same category as Ironman triathletes. What the heck was I thinking when I signed up for this??????????

A very, very good friend sent me a personal email regarding my "I'm a poser" lament. She reminded me that no matter who you are, you're never good enough. There's always going to be someone better that you could compare yourself with. But just because there is someone better than you, it doesn't make you a failure.

Somehow, somewhere I went from "Anybody that finishes sub 17 is AWESOME!!!" to suddenly wondering, "Even if I do finish at 16:59, do I suck? And what if I don't finish at all?" I'm not sure where all this is coming from, I really don't. I know it's not healthy or positive.

My friend writes in her email to me:
I understand that someone has to cross the finish line first, and some will cross it last or not at all, but if you finish, didn't you all just do the same thing?
I want to retaliate, "Yes, but there are those people..." Here comes idiot girl again! Quit doing that to yourself Turtle!
if this race (and everything leading up to it) is giving you what you hoped to gain from it emotionally, physically, and spiritually, then it will be a success. and what would that have to do with those people who finish in the front with their shorts stinking of pee?
Ha Ha Ha. Oh my gosh, that's awesome! A quote that makes you feel good and laugh at the same time. Am I lucky to have a friend like that or what!? I had some pretty cool comments from other bloggers, too.

I may say some stupid things on my blog, but in the end, it has been an important part of my training. Thanks for reading. Thanks for the support.

If nothing else, my journey to Ironman has been absolutely fulfilling. No matter how it ends, it HAS been a good and memorable year.