The emotions continue

Okay, full race report tomorrow night... I promise!!!!

I'm still trying to gather my thoughts. We have luggage and gear everywhere, so I need to focus on cleaning up all the stuff that got thrown around the house last night. And... I'm still really tired and ready to go to sleep.

But quickly for today... Being a school teacher and doing something like this is a great combination. I had lots of support the last week at work. (Nobody at my husband's work really cared, but he said it was okay because he had friends and family that made it a big deal for him.) My team all clapped and cheered when I walked in this morning. Someone decorated my classroom door and made me cry right there. I remember having 3 or 4 miles left on the run course, and just smiling like my cheeks were gonna break, and some guy told yelled at me, "Congratulations! The only thing you have left to do is cross that finish line and cry like a little girl." I laughed and told him I wasn't sure how he knew me so well. Funny thing is that I didn't cry when I crossed the finish line, I was so excited it never crossed my mind. I think I'm making up for it today. I cried when I saw my classroom door. I relished every hand shake I received today.

Tonight, I watched the one hour IM coverage we taped last year of the IMFL 06 race. Every time we watched it last year (and that was many times) we just sat in awe wondering if we could do it. Tonight I watched it analyzing what part of the course they were filming at and what it was like when I was there. I did cry when they showed the average joe age groupers coming in. I remember watching them before and idolizing them... Now I'm one of them... And it's the best feeling in the world.

I'm still in shock and disbelief. I did it. (Pinch myself.) Today I came across a couple of old sticky notes on some school folders that were buried. The sticky notes had old swim and bike workouts obviously meant for me to promptly leave school and accomplish that particular day. Today I had no workouts to rush off to. An overwhelming feeling of sadness came over me. It's over. I came home, made dinner, watched the 06' IMFL, and realized that normally I'd be heading to the pool soon. More tears...

My wedding day was the very best day of my life. If I had to define the emotion of that day, it would definitely be "HAPPY". Ironman has to be the second best day. While I cherish my wedding day, doing an Ironman has something totally different that will forever be marked in my life. I've always struggled with low self-esteem, and I don't want to come off like now I have an ego, but I really surprised myself out there. I still don't know how I pulled off that marathon, but I did it!!!! I guess deep down, I know that I set a goal that was completely out of the realm of possibility. I could have accepted it if I didn't make it. It was an outrageous goal. I still think I set the standards out of my league when I signed up last year... But I worked for it... And I did it. For once, I believe I'm somebody special.

I don't know how many times the last three days I've just sat quietly with a smile on my face. I hope I can retain these moments forever and ever, especially when I start to get down on myself. (The mega-overpriced finisher's photo and finisher jacket are worth every penny when you put it in those terms.)

Today, the emotions continue to be an open floodgate.

I promise a full race report tomorrow night, along with observations for those that aspire to do an Ironman someday. I'm also trying to talk my husband into writing a race report that I can post in addition to mine. Having this experience was amazing. Sharing this experience with him was even more amazing.